Dear Friends,
If our beloved Judy were in this beautiful hall, she would be uncomfortable and embarrassed. Look over there: She’s the focus of our attention, the sole reason for our being here. She hated being in the limelight, she avoided being at the center, she always preferred the background. Judy was gregarious but not a public person, and she was, as you just heard, most happy when she could be of service to others.
That was the side that most of you saw: the caregiver, the helper, the social worker. But there was that other part of her life, the one I was so fortunate to share with her for more than 23 years. We were partners of a rare kind, I want to believe, two individuals who over time melded into a unit that was much greater than its parts. She was my best friend at the same time that she was my lover; she was my buddy while she was my spouse. She was “Judy,” and very, very few of you ever heard me refer to her as “my wife.” Her individuality was quite apparent in our relationship, and she did not stay in the background, at least not in our private life. She was a wonderfully emancipated woman who was keenly proud of her equality.
Judy had a strong mind of her own, and she fiercely maintained her individuality within the bond that we had chosen to enter on that April Fool’s Day in 1989. We maintained separate checking accounts, but we both paid our equal share of the bills; she loved to refer to the place we lived in as “my” house, just to rib me, even though we paid it off together; she of course continued to worship her god while I did not. Two strong individuals who came together and made it all work together.
There is really no secret to our success: We loved each other, and we cared for each other, and we respected each other. Our life was full of passion for life itself: Even as individuals, we had all those common goals and aspirations, and we worked hard to achieve and fulfill them. Like anyone, we had our spats, of course, but we always worked through them because we realized that we had a precious thing going. Judy introduced me to the deep meaning of family bonds and friendship, and I introduced her to traveling the world; she taught me how to appreciate truly extraordinary cooking, and I taught her about cultures and places. Together we hiked, and rafted, and biked. In almost 200 dives, we never knew a different dive buddy. At the dinner table, we always sat down together, raised our wine glasses, and wished each other “bon appétit” before sharing our evening meals.
Judy’s final two years in this world were very difficult, as we all know. They were difficult for her, and they were difficult for me. They were difficult for us even as a team. She tried to shoulder as much of the burden as possible, but she accepted and cherished my support. There were those dark moments, which most of the time she tried to hide from me. But I always knew, and I also knew that time was so precious but kept ticking relentlessly. She’d pat me and say, “Don’t cry, babe,” and she’d be strong. And then there were those other moments when she’d sob and I’d put my hand on her head, gently.
The last few weeks were the very hardest, but I think we came through intact. If anything, our bond grew stronger and our love nothing but deepened and intensified. And when the end finally came, we faced it the way we faced everything else in our united life: as a team composed of two strong individuals who temporarily have taken two separate paths but who continue to be joined by this extraordinary love that was and is ours. Thanks, JuJu, for making us whole. Ciao, babe!
Good morning . . . . and I say “good morning” because we are all here together to honor and acknowledge the good life of our dear Judy who is now resting in peace.
Where can I ever find the proper words that might be able to articulate her very being?
If you knew Judy at all....... there is no denying that she IS a child of God. Psalm 139:13 says “For you [Lord] created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. When our Lord created Judy....... He created her for His purposes and gave her a wonderful spiritual gift.... the gift of service. As far back as I can remember, I clearly understood that she had a tender heart for those people who were in need. Her mother once told me of the time when she took Mike and Judy to look for their Christmas tree. Bett, as we call her, and Mike found a perfectly shaped, beautiful tree for the corner of the room, but Judy kept coming back to one particular scrawny looking, pitiful tree that she just knew no one was going to take home. Well guess what tree was in the corner of the Austins’ living room that Christmas?! Somehow Judy always seemed to look past a person’s outward appearance or beyond what seemed like daunting limitations to see someone’s potential worth and character. Time and time again over the years, all of us who knew her watched and marveled at her ability and willingness to reach out to those persons who needed help, encouragement, and tenderness.
Judy’s gift of service began in her heart. In Judy the Lord’s love was so strong that it was almost like a magnet drawing those who needed healing or comforting to her. She was not only a good listener, but she also took the time to counsel and console.
Her service to others also flowed out through her hands. I am not sure how many of you know this, but Judy struggled with dyslexia all of her life. However, she did not allow this limitation to get in the way of doing God’s work. I am sure many of you sitting here this morning have a story that you could recall about her gifted hands. Whether it was her wonderful cooking of gourmet dinners, her baking of thousand of hand-decorated, personalized cookies made for every possible occasion, or her sharing the delicious pleasure of her fun or beautiful cakes.......Judy’s hands made them all and gave them willingly and gladly to family, friends, and strangers alike.
Besides her gifts with food....... there was her knitting! Oh how she loved to knit for those she loved! I think, perhaps, it was her knitting that gave her the most pleasure. It truly took the work of her hands to produce her knitted gifts of love. She always gave careful thought to the colors and textures of the yarn, choosing what she hoped would best reflect the personality and needs of the person who was to receive her gift. Judy spent countless hours binding the strands of yarn together; forming her shawls, scarves, and hats just as she knit together her relationships of love. It says in Proverbs that “Lazy hands make a person poor, but diligent hands bring wealth.” Well, Judy’s wealth was NOT in the materialistic treasures of this life (for we all know she was the coupon queen), no, her wealth came from the love and blessings she received from all of us who have come here today and from the love she was able to pour out onto others.
These is so much more to be said , but I have chosen to close with a message Jurgen received from one of their THOUSANDS of friends. I would like to share it with you all now.
“She was an incredibly gracious person who possessed a giving soul. Her care for the sick and destitute was a window and glimpse into her gregarious heart. I can think of few people with kinder eyes; she owned the wit of a person fully alive. G.K. Chesterson once said “that angels can fly because they can take themselves lightly”. I never looked, but I now believe Judy’s feet hovered a few inches above the ground: it was perfect practice because she is soaring magnificently now.”
May you, here today, go in peace knowing that our dear Judy has been joyfully reunited with those loved ones and friends who have gone on before her and abides in peace with her almighty and loving Father.
Dear co-workers, friends, and family, please know that Judy would not want any of us to leave here today feeling that the light that she shared with so many has been extinguished. Rather.....as Judy has taught by the example of her life.......let each of us carry at least a spark of her great gift for caring for others out into the world.
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5 comments:
So glad you're feeling better.
Love ya, Judy and Doug
I feel so bad that I have not checked on you since we last talked. You are one strong individual! God has his hands full trying to keep up with you. We pray for a speedy recovery and strength to endure while your body heals!
We love you,
Jim and Sandi
Glad you are feeling. Look forward to seeing you again.
Derek
Judy, so glad you are doing better. You are such a strong woman! We are all thinking about you.
Jerred, Jennifer, Noah, and Ella
Judy,
Just wanted you to know that even though I have my hands full here in Maryland, I am still thinking of you and following the blog. Glad to see you post yourself!
Debi
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